So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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