Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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