So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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