Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
