Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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