1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
