Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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