I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
