I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
and you fell through a lawn chair
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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