All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
