can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize