you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
