so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
