If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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