Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
false alarm, still single
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