hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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