Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
