Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry mjglovespas hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(415): View more from California

No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."

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(707): View more from California

so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?

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(720): View more from Colorado

have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?

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(925): View more from California

Wait, how do girls masturbate?

(1-925): View more from California

I dunno we use shower heads I guess.

(925): View more from California

..how does it fit?

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(520): View more from Arizona

Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get

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(931): View more from Tennessee

He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.

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(440): View more from Ohio

You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”

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