I hate all girls vehemently.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
