1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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