I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
