I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
