you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize