fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
