hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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