i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
