KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
