I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
