You did not just play the dead husband card again.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize