How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
