I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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