'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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