why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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