Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
