i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
