That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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