Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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