She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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