i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
