ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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