Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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