bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
