So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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