Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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