I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize