i will never coherently bang her
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
