He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
