So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
