I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
