WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
