No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Randomize
