yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
