His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
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