He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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