remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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