honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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