worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
