Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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