She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
