OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
