Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
