I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
