Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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