Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
