You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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