I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
