Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
