O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
